Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
