to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
