Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
