so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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