He disabled his match.com account in front of me
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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