So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
