I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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