After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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