You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
false alarm, still single
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
