I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
