I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
