I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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