dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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