Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You made out with two different species that night
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize