I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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