I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
