Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
