Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So vagazzling was a success
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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