I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He passed out mid-signature
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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