I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize