Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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