All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
