No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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