i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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