I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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