I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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