Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i've created a new STD.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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