Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I have fence marks all over my body
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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