I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
