i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
