Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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