I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
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So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
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Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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