I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
