Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
