420 ftw
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
