'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
