so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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