I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
