one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
