i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
