my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
