ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm passing your future prison.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Why did my mother make you get naked?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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