Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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