I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
