if i can run in heels then i can drive
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
