You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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