I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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