Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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