Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
