well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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