i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
