no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize