this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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