hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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