i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
