Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
