nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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