You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
