Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
