Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
and i looked up. we had an audience...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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