why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
