What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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