I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line