Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me