Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"