State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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