No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
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Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs