I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
