We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
