I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
