I just saw a hot homeless man
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
