why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
