I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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